Do you ever have that “why bother?” feeling? Like, why am I even doing the things I’m doing? Who cares? What’s the point?
I ask myself these questions pretty often.
I’ve been finding myself spending a lot of time in my bedroom. If you know me personally, this probably sounds like old news. Finding the motivation to do literally anything has been especially difficult the past two months. The thought of homework makes me sick, I dread going to work, and I have no desire to leave my bed most days. This might sound alarming, but it’s nothing new.
With the Holidays as well as the end of the semester right around the corner, I want to take a second to remind myself and to share with all of you how I find motivation within myself.
If I’m ever feeling an extreme emotion or noticing a pattern of actions, I try to ask myself “what the hell does this mean?” and “why the fuck am I doing this/feeling this way”? If you ask yourself these questions instead of the ones at the beginning of this post, you might learn a thing or two about yourself. Don’t get me wrong, practicing mindfulness hasn’t “cured” me by any means, it has simply made me a better mentally ill person. Sounds weird, right? Let me explain.
It’s important for me to look inward and pay attention to the way certain things affect me and my mental health. Someone once told me that all of my problems are the result of my shortcomings. For a good year and a half, I thought that was bullshit. It wasn’t until I discovered mindfulness that I realized that I can choose to make things easier on myself. I’ve never been a fan of corny quotes or catchphrases, but sometimes you have to “face the music”, “rip the band aid”, and “take control of your destiny”. Avoiding my problems has almost always made them worse in the long run. I try to make decisions with my mental health in mind. So I don’t necessarily have motivation, I’m simply doing the things I know I need to do in order to be happy and healthy. No, I don’t feel like going to the gym, but I know I’ll feel better afterwards. I don’t want to start my homework early, but I know it’ll save me a lot of anxiety if I don’t wait until the last minute to do it. I really want to eat my weight in junk food, but I’ll be disappointed in myself afterwards.
About two years ago, having more than one thing to do in a day stressed me out. Working and having an appointment on the same day would put me into panic mode, making me feel like I needed to cancel something or I’d go crazy. Now I balance working 30 hours a week with taking a full load of online classes, making it to the gym as much as I can, making healthy eating choices, and maintaining healthy relationships. A lot of people ask me how I do it, here are the changes I’ve made that have helped me function on a daily basis without completely losing my shit:
- GET A THERAPIST. I recommend therapy to literally anyone reading this. The average person goes to the dentist, right? Even though there’s probably nothing wrong, you still make your dental health a priority- so why neglect your mental health?
- Get organized. I kept a written planner for about two years and it was extremely helpful and ending up being very important. You can keep track of whatever you want like appointments, your work schedule, homework, and even bills. To-do lists can also be very effective if you forget stuff easily or have a hard time prioritizing. Now I use Google calendar because I can access it from my phone as well as any computer.
- Slow down and say NO. Making yourself a priority is so important. Self care can be as simple as saying no to picking up an extra shift or turning off your phone for an hour.
- Stop avoiding shit. Trust me, I know old habits die hard. I still find myself putting off things I know are time-sensitive or just simply good for me to do like doing homework or going to the gym. Even doing things a little bit at a time is fine. I’ve found that it doesn’t matter how fast you’re going, as long as you don’t stop.
- Ask yourself, how am I going to make this a productive day? This goes back to my point on getting organized, but asking yourself this question is important for those days when you happen to have little to no responsibilities. This is Thursday for me. I often don’t work Thursdays, nor do I ever have homework due, so it’s important for me to not waste my day doing nothing. On these types of days, I’ll get random stuff done like meal-prepping or getting a much-needed oil change for my car. This is also a perfect opportunity to have a little ME time if you’ve had a stressful week.
- Lastly, create healthy habits! Practicing even small healthy habits helps be be more productive. Lately I’ve been trying to keep my room clean so it’s more pleasant to live in. I also used to have the horrible habit of sitting in my bed all day. I would eat all of my meals in bed and even do my homework in bed, which ended up really messing with my sleep schedule. For the past week, I’ve been waking up at a normal time (for me thats between 7:30 and 8:30), I make my bed, and I sit at my desk and eat/do homework there instead. If you are like me and struggle with bad eating habits, having a healthy breakfast is a great way to start your day and it provides you with the energy you need to deal with all of the bullshit that will come your way throughout the day. If I have a healthy and satisfying breakfast, I’m more likely to make healthier choices the rest of the day.
Those are all of the tips I can think of at the moment, and I hope you can takeaway something from this post and apply it to your life.
As always, thank you for listening.
NL
Nicole's Journey 